Top 2 Lessons Learned From Dating My Dating Intermission

Dear Wanderers,

Overall, my intermissions taught me two key lessons, which, again, are from my specific experience.

I swear by these two and obey them as if they were the law.

Take it as you will pooks because I am not here to teach, just here to testify.

As tarot readers would say, take what resonates:

1. DO NOT GO FOR THE GUY WHO ALWAYS WANTED YOU

I say this because these guys during my intermission, whether man or woman in your life, will make up this big idea of who you are from the years of pining for you.

Their pining will turn into rage and resentment, especially if they realize it was all for nothing since you aren’t who they drew you up to be in their head.

They wouldn't know what to do with the real person speaking to them and wouldn’t value you the way you truly deserve.

You’re desired by them but not in the way you deserve to be desired.

They desire the fantasy person they made, the one who followed the script and chose them.

The one with standards, opinions, and interests, not the one that is whatever they made you out to be.

They will fumble you in the worst way possible as some sort of revenge for having them wait to get their turn.

Never go for the bare minimum treatment they will give you.... Never..

People who wait a long time to have you will not have good intentions, and truly, this isn’t for all men/people like this, because I have followed a TikToker who married the guy who always wanted her, and they’re doing great, but that is the exception, not the rule.

The rule is not to go for the one waiting too long for you.

Exceptions are rare, and knowing my luck, I am not the exception to the rules.

If you know your luck… see which category you fall into: are you the exception or the rule?

Another thing to note is that you do not owe them the fantasy they drew of you in their head because you are a real person, not a doll in their head.

I am also basing this on my brother in a way, too, because his ex-girlfriend waited for him to say yes to him for five years, to which she treated him horribly by cheating, harming his perception of love further, and just using him for her ego.

To add to this, the person waiting is also using you, giving them a chance to feed their ego.

You hurt their ego from the long rejection, but also you're giving them a chance in a way that feeds the ego, which is like, " Wow, I'm fine shit now because they gave me a chance when in reality I don’t know, but just know it has both effects of finally I’m worth it, but also it has them ask why now?

So tread lightly when giving the person who always wanted you a chance.

2. A PROS AND CONS LIST IS A WARNING

I have no explanation. It just makes sense.

If you need to list the good and the bad, they gotta go.

Yes, some people have red flags you need to check in with yourself about and list out, but a whole list to see if you should stay?

Nah, you have to go because something is definitely off.

Doubt means something is off, and you should trust it sometimes because it can help you avoid horrible situations.

Differentiate between the different levels of whether it is doubt from anxiety that needs reassurance or doubt from anxiety that is protecting you.

Reassurance doubt is like, I want them to clarify this one issue, and protection doubt is: if I continue with these issues, am I losing myself or gaining something from this connection?

Pros and Cons can serve as a way for you to ask yourself that, which, most of the time, is a protective doubt you need to walk away from.

It's a warning: what you’re investigating isn't worth the battle you want to go into.

There are definitely a few more lessons I have from re-reading the situation, to which I say go to the next post!!

I just wanted these two to stand out because they have become law as I matured, so I wanted them to have their moments to stand as the biggest lessons of all.

Thank you

See ya!

Marie- Anne