Romance Intermission

Dear wanderers,

Welcome back!

Well, we know about the 6-line, but now we must unpack the men I talked to on Bumble and the guy from high school, too.

I call these men my 2020 intermissions because they didn't last long enough to suck the life out of me, and they were such great entertainment for my plot.

Many of the guys I talked to on Bumble were interesting, to say the least.

But my favorite were the Chrises.

I met so many Chrises, so much so, that I was forgetting which Chris did what and liked what.

There was one Chris from Staten Island who wanted to get into my knickers, and I would have let him.

He was funny, very unserious, and looking for a quick hit. I was definitely into that.

One thing a funny man can do is get into my knickers.

There’s this obvious saying that if he can make me giggle, he can make my ass jiggle.

Chris wasn’t into school the way I was. I was in my third year of college, taking life seriously, but not Chris.

One day, Chris and I were on FaceTime for the first time, and his voice was deep, his hair a mess, and possibly high.

He was complimenting me, and we planned a day to link.

Why did I actually tell this man when I was home alone and we got spicy on the phone?

Online safety 101… don’t let someone know when you’re home alone, guys.

Don’t be me, tehehe

I was so nervous because he was very serious about it.

Did that teach me a lesson about playing with horny men?

Nope, and so I ghosted Chris despite loving his chillness.

I also got ghosted by this other Chris after we played iMessage games, and he once asked me for money as a joke.

Sadly enough, I chased him for another round of games.

( wait, sidenote… does the iMessage Chris not remind you guys, of the guy who asked girls for money and scammed them or something?)

Please let me know I am not bugging… anyways)

My feelings during this time were just being sexually wanted and me sexualizing myself because let’s semi unpack this.

I sexualized myself because that was what got me seen and wanted through this online dating experience, and what I felt that I deserved.

Also, being that I am a virgin, it felt like sex was something I had to check off.

Something that would make me normal, you know, or so I thought.

My friends wanted it, everyone wanted it, and so I felt like I had to get it.

( see what wanting to be like everybody gets you?)

But truly in reality, though, I didn’t really care about sex.

What I really wanted was love.

To feel what it feels like for once, to get that slow burn that romance movies talk about.

But dating apps and horny men, during those days and even these days, I didn’t receive that, so I settled for what was available, which was hookups and sex talk.

The men were into the whole I’m a virgin thing and no experience, especially this older man I added on Snapchat.

It was weird that he wanted to teach me about what to do, but I let him, and then I went ghost because it became gross and weird.

There were other men, too, from Hinge, with many convos started, but none led to anything.

Living up to its motto per usual.

However sucky they were, they were still giving me the validation and attention that I needed, though.

Which segues into the high school guy “friend” I am about to dive into in this post.

We are calling this old acquaintance Mr. Peepee Head because his last name sounds a lot like you’re having a tinkle.

So, here’s some history of this person and me.

Since the freshman year of high school, he hit on me.

I would laugh it off and swerve because he had a girlfriend, which I reminded him about.

Every school year, he had a girlfriend at his side, and I respected it, and when he didn’t, we’d flirt and talk basketball.

Unfortunately, I would like to add that in high school, and my youngin days, I was a heavy pick-me girl.

I will just say it, and I am not proud of it, but hey, we live and we learn babes.

Internalized misogyny, honestly, is the one to blame for this.

That and also going to an all-girls middle school, plus never getting attention from boys, even in elementary school.

Yeah, that does something to a girl’s psyche.

However, back when basketball was my life, I didn’t watch basketball for acceptance from men; surprisingly, I watched basketball because my household is a basketball-and-soccer household, and I love how sexy and tall basketball men are.

I watched basketball for the men, not the acceptance of men.

So he and I would discuss basketball and my height.

It went on like this all four years, flirting, basketball, height teasing, and cheering him on with any girl he had.

One of his ex-girlfriends ended up being my friend ( who is, since 2024, an ex-friend completely unrelated to this event btw)!

So, fast forward to my third year of college: we were in a group chat with a former super close friend of mine, and he flirted with me.

I was really hesitant to act on whatever we’ve been doing, which I told him and my friend, because I knew his ex-girlfriend was my friend.

At some point, he tried to bash her character to me, and I had to tell him, "Um, no, that’s my friend," because I didn’t care about whatever he wanted to say about her.

But they essentially said, " Try dating each other out.

So I gave the guy who always wanted me a chance…. First mistake shawty

WHEN I SAY NEVER EVER GIVE THE GUY WHO ALWAYS WANTED YOU A CHANCE, NEVER GIVE THE GUY WHO WANTED YOU A CHANCE!!!!

If you never learn anything from me, learn this. NEVER EVER GIVE THAT PERSON A CHANCE!

Here is my testimony... In the next blog post muahaha!!

Trust, you will want to tune in, see you there!

See Ya!

Marie- Anne