10 Personal Lessons I Learned From My First Heartbreak

Dear cutie wanderers,

​Thanks to the heartbreak of a lifetime, I developed what many call standards.

I took this personally because it was the first time a man caught me off guard.

After this heartbreak, I was numb, like a hollow shell abandoned somewhere.

I couldn’t recognize myself because it felt like a sudden betrayal.

That’s why I didn’t eat for Thanksgiving.

As I healed from this heartache, I realized that, despite everything, I did end up with standards because of him.

This made me reflect: Did he break my heart into pieces, step on it, shit on it, and throw me in the wind?

​Yes, but I think in the end, it was meant to be him.

It helped me set the standard and bare minimum for any man I considered dating after.

​Now, I want to share some of the lessons I learned from this process.

The lessons are personable and silly, so if these aren’t lessons you want to take in, then let it go.

It does not have to be standards or lessons YOU take on, but they will be standards and lessons I (meeee) take on.

​Here are my first 5 serious lessons:

​1. My future man must pay for the first three dates

I like being paid for; it's common courtesy in the men I date.

If he doesn’t pay, he starts at a disadvantage in my heart.

My future king must pay first, or respect is lacking from the start.

I will get the automatic ick if he does not pay first or at least fake offer to pay.

I love a provider and Mr. Baldy always gave that.

It makes my heart swoon just thinking of it like wow such a man.

2. Must be tall enough to ride this ride

I loved being with a tall man. Now, I only date tall men.

Starting height is 6'3 from now on.

After experiencing a tall man, I never wanted to go back.

I thought I’d be fine dating down, but I love dating up.

I think short men are absolutely sexy and are my forbidden fruit.

Cause after being a tall girl with an insecure short man, it just ruined my overall short man experience.

Short men might notice my double chin faster. My chin hairs would show.

That doesn't sit right with my spirits.

​Plus, I loved having to reach up with my arm. I'm just a petite girl!

3. My future man must plan dates

Mr. Baldy always planned everything when it came to dating me.

He initiated all the dates which I liked and made getting to know me feel intentional.

4.My future man must be a conversationalist

I love men who can start and lead conversations, as well as continue them.

Mr. Baldy was so good at finding us the next topic to talk about, asking me personal questions with genuine curiosity, and writing long paragraphs that answered all my talking points.

It was giving educated.

The men before Baldy never led a conversation in their lives, besides "

Have you eaten? And what are you doing?

How many times can a person ask that on the same damn day?

Like that’s so boring and redundant.

Where is the curiosity? Where is the whimsy? Where is the intellectualism?

5.My man must not be an actor

This one comes from pain, y'all.

Fool me once with one actor in training, shame on them. Fool me twice with two? Shame on me.

That is one profession I'm just not dealing with again. For real.

Now Here Are 5 More Silly Lessons Learned About Myself:

6. I might be demisexual

Turns out I love hickeys and handholding.

I love affection led by an excited man.

I enjoyed physical affection because I felt an emotional connection first.

I realized I felt nothing for the 6line because we weren’t emotionally connected, but with Mr. Baldy, I was.

Now it makes sense: I like physical things only when I know and like someone emotionally.

7. My man should handle sarcasm

I love sarcasm as a fake love language.

I love men who can handle some funny, safe sarcasm.

It creates a cute, teasing vibe that gets me all giddy.

8. I love feeding my man my man my man

I really enjoyed putting a fork in a man's mouth.

It felt so feminine, so dainty. I loved everything about it.

Like, wow, very domesticated of me.

Will this motivate me to learn to cook?

Nope, but when we go out, and I share a meal with him, that spoon is touching his mouth.

9. I love pet names, but not the generic ones.

I love unconventional pet names that tie to who we are as a couple.

I can't stand cutie, my love, or baby—eeyuck! Be original.

What name draws you to me? What's our special nickname?

Baldy called me hot in bed, and honestly, it did nothing for me.

I need a nickname that came from an inside joke, like ASAP.

10. My man must be a nerd

I love a nerd: a man who watches anime, superheroes, knows politics, and reads across genres.

I like men with odd hobbies—why do you have a light saber collection? I love that.

I’d hate if a man didn’t have a niche hyper fixation.

Something interesting. I like personality over bland manliness.

Thank you for seeing the start of my interests and standards.

I kept these in mind when I returned to dating two years after Mr. Baldy. I didn't use the dating apps for a while after.

I hope you loved reading about them!

Let me know in the comments.

​Sincerely yours,

Marie Anne